From tradwives to ‘petite blonde’ preferences, this season feels like a throwback for all the wrong reasons, writes Alex Casey.
First of all: I know. Complaining about bad stuff on Married at First Sight Australia is like complaining that water is wet. But I’ve been bobbing around in these waters for a while now, and there’s something particularly ominous lurking just below the surface this season. It’s not just that the water is wet – it’s that the water appears to be hiding an ancient chest full of hokey old gender norms buried some time around the advent of the contraceptive pill.
It’s been there from the very first episode, where we met 35-year-old Eliot. He called himself a “control freak” with “unrelenting standards” who had a very particular vision for his romantic future. “I just want that 1950s nuclear family – Dad comes home, hangs his briefcase and hat on the wall, the kids run up to him and the wife’s in an apron in charge of the household,” he said. “I want someone to take on that traditional feminine role, but a lot of girls aren’t into that.”
One girl who could not be more into that was Lauren, who believes that she was born in the wrong era, and finds that “feminine men” give her the ick. “I’m like the wifiest wife material that there is,” she said as she delicately wiped the leaf of a peace lily repeatedly. ‘What makes me happiest is serving my partner. As long as I find them masculine, I want to serve them in every possible way. They’ll never have to pack the dishwasher or cook dinner.”
Jacqui and Ryan also couldn’t stop yapping on about their need for traditional gender roles. Jacqui said she was looking for someone with a “masculine energy” and that she wanted “to be the woman who makes him feel like a man.” And if you think that means nothing, wait until you hear Ryan. “I believe a woman shouldn’t be afraid of her feminine energy,” he mused. “I love a woman with a career, but I’ve still got to be able to protect her – that’s my role as a warrior.”
These traditional values are discussed in a totally neutral and uncritical way by the experts, which just goes to show how modern phenomena like “the tradwife” and “The Joe Rogan Experience” have influenced gender roles (tradwives are women who retreat from modern feminism into the simple confines of the home, while The Joe Rogan Experience is a public place for billionaires to huff and puff about the importance of masculine energy).
Alas, it turns out that matching people based on how aspirational they found Don’t Worry Darling isn’t the key to a lasting relationship. Eliot was immediately dissatisfied with Lauren, and it soon became clear why: “I want someone who is younger than me, around 25,” he told cameras, as titles reading ‘Eliot, 35’ subtly arrived in the frame. “For me certain things are non-negotiable, because I know what my values are… I want someone that’s not really a career person.”
What’s worse is that this doesn’t even come close to the most galling expression of men and their “values” we’ve seen in the two short weeks since MAFS AU returned to our screens. When smiley charter captain Tony, 53, married DJ and fitness instructor Morena, 57, his groomsman Steven looked like he’d seen a ghost. “Holy moly, that’s old,” he later divulged to Tony, still grief-stricken. “You should be have been awarded someone a bit younger, someone 38 to 42.”
Through the 1950s goggles through which an alarming number of these people appear to view the world, “awarded” is an interesting language choice. Steven also suggested that Tony could “get away with” being married to someone in their 40s, as if that was some kind of challenge or dare. At least Tony maintained crisp 2025 vision: “mate, she’s pretty, she’s nice, she’s warm… She’s exactly what I asked for. Age is just a number.”
Which brings us to the pièce de resistance of wretched MAFS male entitlement: Tim. He arrived as an unsuspecting PE teacher who believed that “looks fade” and wanted “a natural looking woman who is confident in her own body.” But after getting matched with Katie, a natural looking woman who was confident in her own body, his good guy mask slipped all the way off as he sulkily revealed he normally goes for shorter, blonder (or more brunette), and more petite women.
As if that wasn’t enough, he kept elaborating as Katie blinked back tears on the honeymoon: “it’s not just physical though. I’d normally go for quieter women… and funny.”
So just to recap: it’s week two and we’ve seen men seething that the brides are not a decade younger, that they’re too career-driven, too loud, too large, too redheaded. Is this all down evil casting? Or is it that there’s more poison in the pool as the manosphere enters the mainstream? Call me old fashioned, but I miss the good old days when MAFS men used to reveal their monstrousness slowly and skilfully over time, rather than knee slide in wearing it proudly like a badge.
Because if this is what we’ve got already, you have to wonder: what hell possibly awaits?