Evidence suggests New Zealanders are particularly bad when it comes to basic concert etiquette.

21 Savage is a rapper in his prime, deftly dropping Instagram quotables over a slick Brazilian sample. He sounds crisp, but while he’s about to take the stage at Auckland’s Listen In music festival, I’ve already gone home. Rather than be in the crowd, I’m listening to him max volume from my iPhone while passing a rollie between my flatmates.

We had been at Go Media Stadium on Friday for Listen In – a hip hop and rap festival – but by 10pm it seemed the next three hours could only get worse. More so than being a gig, Listen In proved a perfect display of the full spectrum of human selfishness. The music was secondary.

Through long lines where some punters scammed their way in, men pissing in the open and girls drunk stumbling over each other, walking into Listen In was like stepping under the circus tent. We had VIP tickets too, but upon discovering the VIP section was just a Heineken pop-up about 50 metres away from the stage, we dived into the mosh pit. 

The crowd turned into a crush by the time Earth Gang took the stage early in the night. We pressed up against each other with our cans and cups clutched to our chests, and a girl next to me was able to use her boyfriend to elbow me out of the way when she thought I was getting too close. Smart tactic – he was much bigger and stronger than me.

Elsewhere in the crowd, a man was looking for someone, anyone, to fight. It didn’t matter if it was the woman he king hit on the jaw, or the lads trying to take him on, the man was on an alcohol-fuelled mission to ruin everyone’s time. The women were slightly softer in their attacks, using their words against the strangers around them as well as their fists.

I decided to leave after my hand was pried finger by finger off the barricade by two women. I was gripping onto it for support in the crush, but I guess they may have felt intimidated by the sight of my hand. I’ve never had two people pick and pull at my fingers like that before, probably because most normal people would think that’s pretty whack.

On my way out, I told a police officer the crowd behaviour was pretty dangerous, in case he wanted to do something about that. Instead, he told me to write to the Listen In organisers about my concerns – hopefully this review will make a sufficient enough letter, and save NZ Police from doing some tough mahi.

In the last few years alone, I can recall many moments when New Zealanders proudly put their lack of concert decorum on display, including but not limited to:

Brawls at a Snoop Dogg concert.

A male punter punching a female security guard in the face at Fred again...

Creepy behaviour between a man in a gimp suit and toddlers at Splore.

Multiple instances of crowd crushing.

Punters being denied entry into shows because they got too trashed at their pre-drinks.

Punters throwing up on themselves or in someone else’s seat.

Punters shoving their way to the front of a line then having the gall to fight you about it.

Sexual harassment.

Overly-intoxicated people being served at the bar.

Security guards and police receiving physical and verbal abuse.

An excessive lack of empathy in mosh pits.

I’ve managed to piss a few people off (namely publicists) by writing these details into reviews, and as much as it makes for laughable fodder, the hope has been that putting ugly behaviour on blast would make some people reflect. But sometimes, it’s easier to just look the other way.

I once hit up a gig organiser after I gave his show a rough review, asking if he’d be keen to share his thoughts on the state of concert etiquette in Aotearoa. Instead, he told me I was writing “made up” stories – if punters, police and PR people don’t want to acknowledge what’s going on, who’s left to give a shit?

There are truths you need to accept when you’re going to a festival like Listen In. I’ve been jostled, elbowed, pushed, manhandled and crushed in mosh pits so many times, but you can tell when people are just being overly excitable and/or annoyingly drunk. This wasn’t that. Call me old-fashioned, but I kinda feel like we should probably practice a duty of care to the people around us at concerts, especially if we’re in a crush.

I’ve also been to some really incredible gigs in the last few years. Seeing Diggy Dupé with Mokomokai in 2022 was incredible, Ché Fu and the Kratez at The Others Way that same year brought the crowd into a collective catharsis, and this year’s rap-heavy Laneway was pretty fun. Even after writing something so critical, I am courageous enough to admit that I went to the Eras Tour.

We definitely could have just stayed and hung out around the back of the crowd or gone into the “VIP” area, but I wasn’t sure I was keen on the possibility of receiving a king hit while listening to Skepta rap Praise the Lord. And anyway, we have 21 Savage at home.

I unfortunately love live music and shows, so there’s no way I’d stop going to gigs altogether; I think I’ll just stick to the back of the crowd and lower my standards next time, or skip certain shows entirely. Just because your favourite rapper reckons he’s a gangster, doesn’t mean you are too.