The Spinoff’s resident White Lotus geeks guess who’ll cark it in season three’s finale. (Legal disclaimer: Contains spoilers for the first seven episodes.)
After eight weeks of analysing the theme song, drooling over the scenery and wondering how twisted the storylines can get, season three of The White Lotus concludes tonight. Created and written by Mike White, The White Lotus is HBO’s award-winning social satire that follows the lives of the wealthy guests visiting a luxury hotel and the hotel staff forced to cater to their every demand.
Set in Thailand, this season began with gunshots echoing through the resort and a body floating in a pond – but who is the victim, and who’s responsible for their death? We’ll find out in tonight’s extended 90 minute episode, which has been described by the show’s stars as “mouth-agape shocking”. The White Lotus nerds at The Spinoff have also had our mouths agape, studying the evidence and debating every clue to come up with our own list of highly reliable and completely accurate predictions about who’s going to cark it. Place your bets, start your engines, good luck to one and all.
Murdered: Greg, by Belinda
Dead: Piper
My guess is that Belinda gets her revenge on Greg, because why else is she there? The only other drama Belinda has had all season is finding that massive lizard hiding in her hotel room. Piper’s accidental death involves Saxon’s smoothie maker and the poisonous fruit that Pam mentioned in episode one, because that smoothie maker has featured in so many scenes that it may as well be on the cast list. Maybe dodgy old Tim seeks spiritual enlightenment/refuge from prosecution by joining the monastery, and everyone else lives happily ever after? Seems likely. / Tara Ward
Murdered: Pam, accidentally killed by a Russian
Dead: One of the poolside dwellers, hopefully not Chelsea, but maybe Chelsea
There has been a conspicuous lack of swimming this season, despite Mike White’s signature slo-mo shots of the sea sloshing and breaking into sinister droplets. All of this obviously points to another drowning as well as murder by gunshot wound. And where the bloody hell is Pam? I suspect that Pam is going to return from her days off totally disillusioned and possibly still high and is going to find herself in a crossfire between Gaitok (poor, lovely man) and the Russians and may just find herself very unwell / dead. As for the drowning: I think one of the poolside dwellers might be in for an accident. I hope it’s not Chelsea. But I do wonder if there might be a Saxon-attempt-at-saviour moment in which he proves his soul isn’t completely made of smoothies. / Claire Mabey
Murdered: Greg, by Belinda or Jaclyn, by Kate
Dead: Saxon
I need Belinda to kill Greg because I haven’t forgiven him for what he did to Tanya, and I haven’t forgiven Tanya for what she did to Belinda. Yeah, it’s the most obvious choice and thus the one Mike White probably won’t go for, but it would personally make me very happy.
Otherwise, that trio of white ladies is begging for a murder to happen. Obviously, Jaclyn is the most murderable one among them due to her late night sins and the fact that she is a television star, and Kate should be the one to do it because she is an established Trump supporter (sure, you’ve heard of Chekhov’s gun, but have you considered Chekhov’s pro-Trumper?) – and then Laurie will finally be free of both of them. Meanwhile, reeling from the discovery that the family business is up in flames, both of his siblings want to move to Thailand to be away from him and the shame of hooking up with his brother, Saxon will meet a watery death, perhaps accidentally tripped up over the side of a boat by Chelsea. Also, Jim is definitely Rick’s dad. / Lyric Waiwiri-Smith
Murdered: Chelsea, by Sritala’s bodyguards or Sritala herself
I don’t want it to be true, but I think Chelsea might be the victim. She’s too good and pure for this world. A potential scenario: it turns out that after Rick knocked him off his chair, Khun Jim had a heart attack and died. Sritala, mad with grief, shame at having been conned and crushing disappointment that she’s not really being courted by Hollywood, heads back to the White Lotus, bodyguards in tow, to seek vengeance on Rick. A shootout ensues and Chelsea is caught in the crossfire. Rick is heartbroken. / Alice Neville
Murdered: Saxon, by Mook
Dead: Chelsea
Going for a multi-victim approach here just for the sake of it. No clue who will die but I refuse to believe that The White Lotus in Thailand starring one of the biggest pop stars in the country would end without giving her a Big Moment, either as victim or killer. So for that reason alone, I think Mook is right in the mix despite largely just being the cause of Gaitok’s dickmatisation thus far. And I just have a sinking feeling about lovely, sweet Chelsea. / Madeleine Chapman
Murdered: Belinda, by Gaitok
Dead: Parker Posey
Literally don’t have a clue but got to be in to win. / Calum Henderson
