Backbench MPs reached new levels of patsy questions in an extraordinarily dull question time on Tuesday.

Echo Chamber is The Spinoff’s dispatch from the press gallery, recapping sessions in the House. Columns are written by politics reporter Lyric Waiwiri-Smith and Wellington editor Joel MacManus.

“MPs ask questions to explore key issues and hold the government to account – it’s a crucial part of our democracy.” That’s how the parliament website describes question time. It’s a rare opportunity to ask direct questions to ministers of the Crown, a privilege afforded only to those who have been duly elected by their fellow citizens.

Take National MP for Whanganui Carl Bates, for example. He spent years building to this moment. He founded a global business but sold it to put his time and energy towards being a member of parliament. It’s a good thing he did, because how else would the New Zealand people have known the answers to important questions like: “What recent announcements has [tourism minister Louise Upston] made about increasing visitor numbers to New Zealand?”

Unless they watched the evening news, or read a news site, or checked social media at least once in the past 24 hours, how would they know about the new “Everyone must go” tourism campaign? That’s the power of question time in action. But Bates wasn’t done. He extracted more important answers with follow-up questions like “How will targeting Australians improve overall visitor numbers?” (it turns out Australians count as visitors) and “What benefits does she expect to see as a result of this campaign?” (tourists spend money).

MP for New Lynn Paulo Garcia, who previously ran his own law firm, used his legal experience to cross-examine Nicola Willis with a barrage of questions only the finance minister would be equipped to answer, such as “When is the next major economic release?” and “What recent reports has she seen on the economy?”

Bay of Plenty MP Tom Rutherford grilled justice minister Paul Goldsmith with a tough one: “How is the government progressing with its plan to restore stronger consequences for crime?” Goldsmith droned an impressively boring answer back at him. MPs checked their phones and chatted among themselves. Garcia scratched his chin, Chris Hipkins scrolled Stuff, and Andrew Bayly appeared to pick his nose with his middle finger. Rutherford, undeterred, continued: “What other actions is the government doing to restore stronger consequences for crime?” and “Why is it important to restore stronger consequences for crime?”

As he finished his questions, Rutherford sat down with a satisfied slump, as if he had just finished doing a real job. In their chairs at the back of parliament, he and Bates had an animated conversation. They looked excited. Their questions were starting to bear fruit. Surely, some day soon, they will figure out how to access the official list of government announcements.

They weren’t the only MPs who seemed unable to find the webpage www.beehive.govt.nz/releases.

Act’s Laura McClure asked workplace relations minister Brooke van Velden, “What announcements has she made about restoring balance in employment relations?” NZ First MP Jamie Arbuckle asked regional development minister Shane Jones, “What recent announcements has he made regarding steps the government is taking to support regional development?” When Jones cited a motorway interchange in Te Puke, Arbuckle wanted to get to the bottom of the issue: “Why was the government’s funding to support this interchange so critical?” No one paid any attention to the answer.

Green Party co-leader Chloe Swarbrick joined the government MPs in using question time as a convenient alternative to Google, asking prime minister Christopher Luxon, “Is coal a mineral?” and “Does extracting and burning coal make climate change better or worse?” Unfortunately, she was unable to get to an answer, though Luxon did confirm coal was “actually really important for our mining industry”. Act leader David Seymour butted in with a point of order, asking whether “commuting to work by aeroplane every week contributes to climate change”. Unfortunately, the New Zealand people will never know the answer to this important question, because speaker Gerry Brownlee ruled it irrelevant.

One fun moment

Mere days after the prime minister was roasted by menswear expert Derek Guy, health minister Simeon Brown arrived in the debating chamber with a fashion crime of his own. What is going on with this tie?